2 weeks post surgery

This man is my hero. Even if I took the time to write down everything he has done for our little family these past few weeks it wouldn't even begin to describe the amount of love, time, sacrifice, and devotion he has given to us. Just looking at this picture brings tears to my eyes knowing what lies in that big heart of his.  

At one week post surgery (Sunday) my mom went back home.  I was so overwhelmed.  At this point even holding my baby was still too painful.  How on earth was I supposed to take care of my children when I couldn't even pick up and hold my newborn?!  I cried and cried as I was struggling to put Beckham down for the night.  I prayed for strength, guidance, and assurance. 

We put Beckham down and that night he woke up once at 2am, went right back to sleep after feeding and didn't wake back up til 7:30am.  Coincidence?  No, tender mercy.  It was my answer I needed.  It told me that despite my limitations, the Lord would provide a way.  

". . . But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

(1 Nephi 1:20)

The next three days were spent trying to heal enough to the point where I could manage both boys.   By Thursday I was able to hold my baby (to the side with a pillow :). . .),  lift him out of his swing and bassinet, and feel well enough to get through the whole day with out needing to take any pain medication. 

Each day gets better.  (Except for this nasty cold I caught on Friday, but thankfully it happened over the weekend when I could have Brian's help all day.) I'm still pretty tender and become exhausted pretty quickly.  My back gives out on me quite frequently (but who needs a clean house anyway).  Mentally I'm starting to feel recharged and not so overwhelmed.  It will take time to accomplish all that I want to in a day, but for now if there is one thing I've learned it's that all the little stuff really doesn't matter.  Simplify and patience.  What matters is my family, my joy, my spiritual growth, and my faith in the Lords plan for me.   He has not ceased to be with me and bless me during this trial.  At times it has seemed too much to bare but I'm quickly reminded of the power that comes from having faith in a merciful Heavenly Father and Savior who know exactly how I feel and know how and what strength to give me to bare it. There has been much love felt in this home.