What is my purpose?

What is my purpose?

The nudging thought to "find a purpose" in all things has continued to fill every space of my mind.  I suppose having the opportunity to really analyze every choice and habit you make is a blessing. While it seems daunting to essentially build my very core existence back up from scratch I realize it's more about letting go of the things that did not make me better which fills me with hope.  Letting go of the things that would not allow me to reach my end goal as a daughter of God and the potential that it entails. Which really isn't an end goal but rather an ongoing realm of joy and purpose. 

I came across this article which changed my whole way of thinking.  As I have been searching for a purpose in why I grind through the daily routines of life I've continued to get more and more discouraged.  Certainly there is no possible way to achieve all that is on the "to-do" list of perfection as an imperfect human being.  

As new challenges have encircled my life I have once again found myself drowning in the deep dark hole of depression.   But how can this be, one might ask, after my certain life changing miracle that brought healing to my mind in a way that I could never doubt the existence of a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who truly has the power to heal all wounds because of His every binding sacrifice made in Gethsemane so many years ago?  And yet through it all I feel that that experience only made me have greater faith in the challenges I face now.

I've pondered a lot on the story of Job in the Old Testament.   The Lord allows Satan to tempt and try him to his maximum capacity over and over to prove to Satan that Job will always remain pure and faithful.  After losing his family, friends, home, riches, health, and more Job never once shows anger to God. He turns his heart to God.  He proves faithful to God.  And God's faith in Job proves victorious. Later blessing Job beyond measure for passing his tests of life. 

I think perhaps when in the thick of heartache and affliction if we can remember this story of Job.  And turn our way of thinking, realizing that while yes we are being tested of our faith in God, but also that God is using His faith in us.   We are fighting this war together against the natural man and a path that will never lead to the fulfilling joy and purpose God knows we can have. Wants us to have. Works endlessly to provide a way for us to have it.   Surely His whole work is selfless and service to us as His children.   

While pondering on these thoughts and asking over and over the past few years "What is my purpose?"  I finally received an answer to a long awaited prayer.  

My purpose is Christ. 

My purpose is to come to know Christ.  Do all that I can do to immerse my self in His love and mercy.  And as I do so everything else will fall into place.  Everything else will have a purpose.  It's not about doing more to be more Christlike but rather about making my heart one with His and emulating His love and purpose in everything I do.  

This answer was so profound to me it brought me to my knees.  It filled me with so much hope that I knew the Lord had heard my plea all these years.  And line upon line I am learning to grow in His love.  While I've taken a huge leap into a path of the unknown and new ways of finding healing then before I have felt the power of Christ give me courage to take those steps.  While my immediate future is still uncertain and all we can do is wait, I have faith it will all be ok.  I feel the power of my faith bring calmness to my heart and patience to my ever so anxious soul in wanting to find answers and healing.  I trust in His plan for me and I've never been more certain of that in my life then I do now.  Which gives me hope that maybe I'm doing something right in this thing called life.