running

Running.  It's very therapeutic for me.  I can't do it as often as I would like because of my knees but I try to go as often as they allow me.  I don't usually go very far.  I am no cross country runner.  I have found a mile or so is just enough for me to clear my head and get my heart pumping.  There have been moments this year where running has been a huge outlet for me.  It has helped me to not just push aside the overwhelming emotions that come over me but it helps me through them.  Helps me deal with them and then overcome them.  There's no healing that can take place when you don't face your wound.  If you treat everything around it it might help but to really treat and mend what has been broken you have to go straight to the pain.  The broken parts.  In the beginning I would try and hide the emotions.  Go around them.  Live my day pretending they weren't there.  Only to find myself worse the next day.  Never finding true relief. 

Once I figured out how to face them I discovered hope.  There is not a "fix-all" solution to depression and anxiety.  Each person suffering from it is individual and has different needs.  Each a different path to healing.  But what is common ground is the fact that it takes baby steps to get there.  There is no magic pill that has you wake up completely better the next day and you'll never have a problem with it again.  It's a learning, growing, time consuming experience.  Often like walking in sand.  3 steps forward 1 step back.  I have found in my path there are several ways to cope.  Not all of them work at certain times.  Some work at times when others don't.  As I've learned to face and push through the emotions, let them take their course, I know I'm slowly climbing that ladder.  It takes a lot of patience and I keep my perspective by doing the things that keep me close to my Savior.  

Recently, I was running and as I turned the corner (listening to this song) it hit me like a ton of bricks. The sun shone so brightly I could feel it embrace my entire body.  In the distance I could see my little family. I could barely lift another foot to make my way towards them.  I was engulfed in so much love I could barely move.  I was so overwhelmed by the blessings I was running towards with the sun watching over us.  I stopped and thanked my Heavenly Father for that moment. Not just for that moment, but because the moment helped me feel the goodness of my life.  Of my purpose and that there is so much joy to be found in it.  Even amidst heartache. 

   

As I'm sure many have heard this song, I can't help but really love it and the message it portrays.  It really speaks to my heart. 

"Glorious" by David Archuleta

I have found more often then not when I run God gives me moments of hope.  It's usually moments like these that I see, I feel with no doubt in my bones that how can there not be a God?! How glorious it is to know we don't have to face life alone.  It is oh so beautiful.